The Collective Socialization of Men

 

June 10-16 is Canadian Men’s Health Week. A man’s mental health, like his physical health, is important, and both aspects can be negatively affected by suppressing emotions. Although many men are taught that crying is weak and something that only women do, expressing their emotions is important. It is a skill that often is not modelled for, or taught to, little boys who later become fathers, husbands, and friends. I encourage you to watch the attached video, as it is a powerful example of how parenting little boys can greatly affect how they later view themselves and their female counterparts.

If you are effected by this video as I was, I encourage you to think about how you yourself encourage boys and men to fit into what Tony Porter calls the “man box”, and make even the smallest of change. Emotions are not “male” or “female” but HUMAN! Every human experiences them, but unfortunately, females and males are socialized to recognize, understand, and express them in very different ways often with negative consequences for themselves, their families, their children, and for society at large.

Let’s make some changes and liberate men from this “man box”. Let’s raise our sons to be healthier men, lets encourage our male partners to be vulnerable, and let’s make the world a place of equality!

Ask yourself:

  • Do you show your son the same affection, praise, and empathy as you do your daughter?

  • Do you expect your child’s reaction, when they get hurt, to be the same regardless of their sex?

  • Do you excuse your teenage son’s behaviour as “boys will be boys”, yet your teenage daughter has strict rules?

  • What does it mean for your son to be masculine? Do those ideas fit into Tony Porter’s “man box”?

  • What does it say about the value of women when you hear your son, spouse, or father use phrases such as: “you run like a girl”, “your such a pussy”, “man up”, or “grow a set of balls”?

  • What do you say to your son/grandson when he cries? Would you treat your daughter/granddaughter the same way in the same situation?

  • Do you often ask your son about his emotions? Such as “How did that make you feel?” or “What about today made you feel really happy or really sad inside?”


    References

    Porter, T. (2020, June 5). A call to men. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80

    Image Credits: https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=sY%2fFJMWt&id=796F2CE20B0C7BD5586E282A92F9F7E050E966A7&thid=OIP.sY_FJMWthA6KIxp4iFS0LwHaE8&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fbloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com%2fdoaneline.com%2fcontent%2ftncms%2fassets%2fv3%2feditorial%2f8%2ffb%2f8fbf153e-db90-11e5-8666-3f3e7d26c1c6%2f56d7b33949b02.image.jpg%3fresize%3d1200%252C800&exph=800&expw=1200&q=man+box&simid=608055158487516443&ck=1FEFCF9FD9062B19217488C4BB1DEAC6&selectedIndex=0&ajaxhist=0


Dawn Comeau